this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
