I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
