Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
