She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
