I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
