You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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