wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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