we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
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