It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
