you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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