Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
