If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
