I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
