Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
