I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
