We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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