Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
