I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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