I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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