smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
