Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
