Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
