i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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