Jerry, you need to find god
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
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He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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