I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
