i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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