ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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