Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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