so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
