69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
bring money and cleavage
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
