you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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