I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
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I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
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I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"