have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress