We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.