I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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