I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real