You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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