OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend