I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.