Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
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U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.