I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?