Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
