so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
dude. I can hear the air.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
