i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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