Pregnant stripper...not hot.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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