Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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