Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Randomize
