People in love make me want to vomit
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
