we're blogging at a bar
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
