Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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