i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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