The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Randomize
