sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
