she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Sober January is a disaster.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
