There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
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