You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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