god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
