She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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