it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
