and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
