I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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