Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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