How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
