You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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