I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize