You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Drake has all the answers
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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