get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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