Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
