I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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