I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
